bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
