stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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