Pants 0. Shit 1.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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