Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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