Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
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Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
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He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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