Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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