so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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