Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
