I'm laying in your front yard are you home
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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