I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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