we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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