The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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