in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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