I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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