he wants to bone in the snuggie
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
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she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
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I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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