He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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