Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
