I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
