Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Holy sore nipples Batman
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize