ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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