I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
