I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
