I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
