why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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