Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
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