I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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