I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk