i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
