This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.