all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.