I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
