I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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