I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
