She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
