Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
