I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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