did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
