The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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