dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I skipped work to stalk him.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
