My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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