I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You need Xanax blowdarts
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There are leaves in my underwear?
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