nut hugger
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
