I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
