im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
