Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Randomize
