the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
