I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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