That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You've changed since you got that strap on
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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