I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
