Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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