pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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