If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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