Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
