he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
