After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
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I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
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The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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