either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Randomize
