Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize