Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
