Non-Jews are for practice
zippers are such a cool invention
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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